EDITOR’S NOTE (Nick Stamatakis): The Babylon Bee had a huge hit this week with the motorcyclist who declared himself to be a bicyclist!! And although we disagree with Bill Maher on the basics of Ukraine and other issues this time he kills the anti-masculine ideology with laughter….
NEW YORK, NY—In an inspiring story from the world of professional cycling, a motorcyclist who identifies as a bicyclist has crushed all the regular bicyclists, setting an unbelievable world record.
In a local qualifying race for the World Road Cycling League, the motorcyclist crushed the previous 100-mile record of 3 hours, 13 minutes with his amazing new score of well under an hour.
Professional motorcycle racer Judd E. Banner, the brave trans-vehicle rider, was allowed to race after he told league organizers he’s always felt like a bicyclist in a motorcyclist’s body.
“Look, my ride has handlebars, two wheels, and a seat,” he told reporters as he accepted a trophy for his incredible time trial. “Just because I’ve got a little extra hardware, such as an 1170-cc flat-twin engine with 110 horsepower, doesn’t mean I have any kind of inherent advantage here.”
Banner also said he painted the word “HUFFY” on the side of his bike, ensuring he has no advantage over the bikes that came out of the factory as bicycles.
Some critics say he needs to cut off his motor in order to make the competition fairer, but he quickly called these people bigots, and they were immediately banned from professional cycle racing.
Bill Maher hammers liberals who say masculinity is always toxic
“You could win the battle and lose the war if you harangue men into becoming less like us and more like you,” Maher stated.
“Women aren’t attracted to these girly men they’ve created,” Maher declared. “The guy you whipped into total sensitivity isn’t sexy to you anymore.”
Maher joked, “There’s a special place in a woman’s heart for a man who learns to suppress his masculinity, it’s called the ‘friendzone.'”
Maher then lambasted men for “sulking” and “complaining” about not being able to be with a woman.
“Girls don’t want to have sex with you unless you put in a little effort,” Maher exclaimed. “So put in a low effort. Yes, stupid lazy f***s.”
(CAUTION: Explicit language)